She found herself losing motivation for her work, being too emotional too eat properly, and becoming very sensitive to tiny triggers in her environment.
She broke down in James’ arms one night and poured out the story of the things which had devastated her just in the past week. “You used to be such a spiritual warrior, but these days you are such a drama queen. Unfortunately, the ego can pick up on the spiritual terminology (without grasping the underlying concepts), and use spiritual language for egoic purposes.
I was one of the lucky ones, as I was able to extricate myself from the medical and psychiatric establishment.
Little did the doctors realize that I was taking part in some sort of spiritual awakening/shamanic initiation process, which at times mimicked psychosis but in actuality was an experience of a far different order.
The world is full of spiritual assholes, but it is also full of brave, generous, spiritual warriors, who will stand in the fire with you and not look back.
Exercise discrimination, and you can have a true spiritual partnership.
In 1981 I was sitting in meditation when, just for an instant, a bolt of lightning flashed through my mind.
I began acting so unlike my normal self that a friend brought me to a hospital, afraid I was going crazy.
And, because there is a small element of truth in the spiritual asshole’s argument (if we were, in fact, completely detached, their behaviour wouldn’t actually upset us, after all), we focus on ourselves and our own weaknesses, rather than asserting our boundaries and our right to equal consideration in the relationship.
Ironically, if we were, in fact, completely detached, we would be willing to say “If you can’t keep your appointments with me, I am not willing to spend time with you.” Now, I want to be fair here…
” At that moment, it dawned on Carina that James was, in fact, an asshole. All these skills can make the wrong people, very attractive prospective partners.
Spiritual values are an amazing contribution to a relationship. The defensive use of spiritual words to avoid deep genuine connection only shows up gradually over time, often over months, or even years.
You are lowering the vibration of our relationship with all this over-reaction and attachment. In James’ case, the spiritual language allowed him to control the relationship, stay in his comfort zone, and to avoid looking at his own contribution to Carina’s stress and unhappiness.