I think it’s difficult to advise here without knowing the history of your relationship with your daughter and her husband.
I have always encouraged my 3 to be able to be open and voice issues without deteriorating to arguments.
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Time changes everything, be patient, keep in touch regularly with all family members and try to link with the other GPs. Whatever the ins and outs of a particular situation the feeling that you are somehow left out of the grandparent circle is just heartbreaking.
Ours live in France and we even get invited to stay over with them- adults only! There are so many combinations and permutations to all of this but the bottom line is sadness and loss of the joy of the company of your precious little ones.
I tell myself im just overreacting but I can't shake it off.
I feel that her partner is controlling but she doesnt see it.It is hard, as the mother of three sons with six grandson's, I find that it's my daughter's in law's parents that always come first!So now after years of hurt, I'm just intent on making the most of what little time I do have with them......My son tries to even it up but it is difficult for him.I have just decided that although I don't see her very often - when I do I am the fun granny, the one who plays with her and never chastises or attempts the day to day tasks. I totally empathise with your situation, having posted a similar message on tbis site months ago.Life is too short to bear grudges and be miserable...... Family life can be tidal in the way relationships go, sometimes it just seems that way but when circumstances change, you might see the ways in which you are valued. Maybe that colours the way you feel or maybe your DD feels awkward until she repays the money and that taints things a little.