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Levine encouraged them to use their computers to flirt, start online relationships, and explore their farthest-fetched fantasies without taking real-world risk. The pages she cited ran the gamut from tutorials for geeks, like to resources for free lovers like the Open Hearts Project and “The driving source behind sex in the 1990s, whether you’re partnered or single, is the human imagination,” Levine declared. The place where imaginations go wild, anonymity is the rule, and desire runs amok.” Like earlier safe-sex educators, Levine used multiple-choice and fill-in-the-blank questionnaires to help readers take stock of what they wanted. The chapter “Overcoming Sexual Inhibitions,” for instance, started with a quiz intended to help you assess how uptight you are. If your best friend started unexpectedly talking about his or her sex life over coffee one day, you would:a. A service called Tri Ess connected heterosexual couples who were into cross-dressing.The book, The Joy of Cybersex, argued that the World Wide Web was a godsend for this reason. Say: ‘Sure, honey, but I’d actually rather be a rocket scientist, okay? Think about it for a few minutes, fix yourself a drink, and succumb to the unknown.

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Yukari is a 48-year-old mother and wife with everything to lose. In the past, she worked really hard; she was a perfect wife and mom.

She needs to be present for her daughter’s graduation and her son’s autism therapy appointments. Then her father passed—they had a difficult relationship—and Yukari started drinking. Each night she goes to bed promising herself she won’t do it anymore, but each morning arrives and Yukari can’t resist the urge to check her throwaway email account. She’s already met five men and done things a younger Yukari never would have.

I remember furtively clicking on thumbnail after thumbnail in an “Interns of the Month” gallery, watching spray-tanned haunches and balloon-taut breasts of girls posed around Oval Office interiors materialize, bit by it.

When my sister, searching for images of her favorite British pop stars, accidentally typed “Spicy Girls” into Yahoo, the search results made her run, shrieking, from the family computer. “It is probably no coincidence that this sea change comes on us at a time when AIDS lurks in the alleyways of our lives,” a writer for The Nation mused in 1993.

As with nearly every other medical or psychological concern, women are vastly understudied compared to men.

The subject of sex addiction and cybersex addiction in women, in particular, has a long way to go, but there are reports that: The brain’s reward center produces dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and motivation.“Maybe I’ll get some dates out of it.” Yet under the spell of her dirty-talking alter ego, the Naked Lady began to undergo a metamorphosis.She ceased to be “a rather mousy person — the type who favored gray clothing of a conservative cut …Like The Joy of Cybersex, the first issue of Wired magazine came out in 1993.It contained an article about a woman whose prolific activity in “hot chats” transformed her from a “paragon of shy and retiring womanhood” into a bona fide “man-eater.” The author describes a female friend who spent hours a day in the 1980s on a service called the Source.Beyond the issue of younger and younger children exposed to pornographic images is a new problem even the pornographers may not have predicted—that of the growing number of women presenting with cybersex addiction.

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