When I plunged into the dating scene after getting out of a long-term relationship, my immediate inclination was to "play" extrovert by setting up numerous dates in a week, to give everyone a chance, to give those I was on the fence about a second chance, and to stay out well past my bedtime, even if I felt like I was losing steam.It took only a few weeks of this before I realized that dating was taking its toll and that I was becoming bad at it — failing to respond to texts and messages in a timely manner, rushing through dates with people I felt little connection with and, eventually finding myself leaving all of my dates with a nagging desire for the solace of my quiet apartment.If smalltalk drives them insane, don’t expect them to easily engage with large numbers of strangers.
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The fact that introverts are highly observant and retain a lot of what they take in generally is where people come to learn how warm and compassionate these quiet souls are.3.
Only make dates with people you really believe have potential (not just people who look good on paper).
Lesson learned: don’t be afraid to ask tough questions from the get-go.5. Sure, most introverts prefer depth over breadth when it comes to relationships.
Yet I'll speak here from personal experience: most of the people I’ve developed great connections with have been on the extroverted side of the spectrum.
They’ve caught your eye, captured your attention, and are well on their way to stealing your heart, as well. You get your wish, and the two of you finally make the choice to go out together. When you take your date to parties, they begin to visibly wilt after an hour or two, and linger near the door, as if they want to escape.
They become irritable for no reason you can discern. And if you’re an extrovert, their ways can seem vexing and difficult. The key to their secret inner lives is easily obtainable, and once you do, get ready for a relationship of unique depth and richness.
Introverts, however, function best in quiet, intimate environments, like a tea room, and often gain their energy from solitude. Of course, there is no such thing as a purely introverted or extroverted person—everyone exists on a spectrum. Accepting this is the first step to successfully dating an introvert.
But if the person you love exists on the introverted side of the scale and you’re at the opposite end, there are a few key things to remember that will help you avoid being locked out of their beautiful inner world. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t set boundaries and expectations for behavior, as we’re about to see.
Introversion, on the other hand, is about how a person responds to social stimulation—it’s a feature, not a flaw.
Extroverts are energized by highly stimulating socialization, like a party.
So long as they understand your need for recharging and downtime and you respect their need for significant social interaction, the introvert-extrovert pairing can be a very complementary combination.