God’s clear on singles maintaining sexual purity before and during marriage but also shows grace even when that’s not the case, such was the relationship of David and Bathsheba.
The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages). “The one” says you need to find the perfect person. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. You are asked to go from a mentality that says “End a relationship as soon as difficulty arises,” to one that says, “Don’t end the relationship regardless of the difficulty that arises.” That’s a tough switch to flip.
This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. “Let’s just sit back and see what happens” might work in certain scenarios, but Christian dating isn’t one of them. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
Drifting in these dry parts for long leads to hooking up and behaviors that will leave both parties confused in soul and mind. What if Christians took all of the legalism, fear and traditions of man out of the process and just looked at dating like cultivating any other normal relationship…just getting to know someone.
It might look like this: Snatch Off The Expectations Avoid jumping into exclusivity right away, you’re just trying to get to know someone.
Allow the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to guard, guide and direct your dating path.
So I know some people will vehemently disagree with this viewpoint, but these are honest conversations we need to start having in the Christian community.Friendship First, Not Marriage Behind every good marriage is an even better friendship.Instead of thinking about dating with marriage as the end goal, focus on friendship.When dating, your job is to guard your heart and use wisdom to learn about one another.Agree that the only expectation is to honor and respect each other and allow for organic growth, not forced.An issue of divide developing among Christians on dating is whether you should only move in this direction with someone you intend to marry.