Determine whether or not both of you are willing to trade the lives you have now for a new life together, and whether or not you’re willing to eliminate the option of divorce and keep turning to God for the strength to keep working on your marriage. Realize that just because you love someone doesn’t mean that person is a good match for you.
Share all of the details with each other honestly, listen to each carefully, and give each other mercy as God does if you have each sought His forgiveness for your sins and repented of any unhealthy behaviors. Marriage as God designed it requires a lifetime commitment.
So you and the person you’re considering marrying should face your fears about that and discuss issues such as how you plan to handle disagreements and crises that may come up in your future marriage, such as illness and job loss.
We all will trifle with one another’s feelings at times… (FEMALE 2): A woman will always trifle with your feelings because your heart is involved. More than anything we need to learn to communicate with each other.
We are all so tender that we can’t tell each other how we feel and we each end up wondering where we stand with each other.
Never try to control each other, but instead choose to serve each other even when doing so is difficult, just as Jesus served others when He was on Earth.
Through this process in your future marriage, God will help each of you become more like Jesus. You each must also be willing to respect each other – even when you don’t think that the other deserves that respect – because God has made you both and highly values you.Talk about how each of you plans to earn, spend, save, give, and invest money if you get married, and why.If you discover that one or both of you doesn’t currently have a healthy budget or healthy money management attitudes or habits, get help and make changes before getting married to save yourselves from having to go through tremendous stress afterward. You and your future spouse must tell each other the whole truth about the romantic relationships that you’ve each had with other people previously, regardless of how wild or mild they were.Don’t deceive yourself into thinking that you can pull an unbelieving spouse closer to Jesus; what happens instead in marriages between believers and unbelievers is that the unbelieving spouse pulls the believing spouse further away from Jesus.Realize that you can fall in love with anyone you happen to be attracted to, but that doesn’t mean that you should marry them. Disclose all of your financial information to the person you’re considering marrying, and expect full disclosure from him or her, too.By choosing to respect your future spouse when he or she doesn’t deserve it, you can motivate your spouse to change and begin acting in ways that are worthy of respect. Realize that love is an action, not just a feeling.