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– my partner’s technique of making me doubt my thoughts, feelings, and perceptions – was an abusive manipulation tactic.

For the first time, I saw why his behavior stressed me out. If you can identify any of these seven patterns in your own relationship, you may not be a bad partner either.

We stood together and pet her like nothing had ever happened. I was just relieved he wasn’t mad at me – so I dropped it.“It’s important to remember that you are not the problem; you’re simply being manipulated to feel bad about yourself, so that you’re more likely to surrender your power and rights,” psychologist Preston Ni Manipulation occurs when someone tries to force you out of your comfort zone.

I was afraid I’d be an inconsiderate, spoiled girlfriend if I didn’t.

If someone stumps you with a question, he said, change the subject.

I was starting to see I didn’t deserve to feel like an ice queen for asking to split expenses or like I had to compromise my sexual boundaries to make him comfortable.

And I knew that as long as I stayed with him, I Over two years since I ended that relationship, I’m still learning to view myself in a more positive light.

One minute, I’d vow to change my ways and hold him to lower expectations.

The next, I’d be angry with him for not meeting the expectations I held.

For example, one night, I was painting an instrument he’d built.

After he told me what to paint and hovered over me complaining that I was doing it all wrong, I got mad and left the room.

When he asked what was wrong, I yelled out of frustration, “You’re so clueless!

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